Deserve more

by - 9:19 PM

For years, I've been told that I have to have limits. For years, I've been told not to stand out from the crowd. For years I listened not to tilt at windmills, because I won't get what I want. 

Yes I will. 

Last time (no, not coronavirus), showed me perfectly well how huge and unforgivable sin I committed against myself for over a dozen years of my life - the sin of limiting my ambitions, because older people stubbornly put it to my mind that it's not proper to do so... 

Now, being at the point of my professional and private life, even in a geographical place where I am, I know that a few years ago, when I decided to break the patterns and follow my path completely different than it was planned for me, I gave myself the greatest gift, that I could create for myself, without knowing it. I gave myself freedom and strength. Strong enough to tread my own paths, break free from routine, narrow horizons and go for what I want. 
It was my first step towards finding my true self. And later? Later it was just up, getting stronger, getting harder, getting higher. I have made many changes in my life, often extreme, risky and very sudden, every time my nose sniffed out that it was no longer the good position, that it wouldn't bring me anything good, wouldn't develop me or give me anything I expect. 
People doubted my sober thinking and realistic view of the world, when I left this, left that... And started something completely new at the other end of the world (literally). I changed companies, moved to other countries, ended my wings-breaking relationships, climbed higher and higher because I knew I deserved more and I'm not going to accept less than I am worth. 
People were shaking their heads, saying that something was wrong with me, that I was crazy... Maybe I am crazy, but thanks to all the changes I made, throwing myself into deep end and going to unknown places, now, after only a few years after starting my own path, I am on the top of the top of my dreams and goals, which not so long ago seemed to me something beyond my reach. 

Take what they give you, they said... And I said no, I put my value above all and stopped accepting less than I deserve. As I left, I knew that leaving everything behind, I am going for the better, for what I wouldn't have had the chance to get staying behind. 
And here and now I am a happy, successful and so incredibly happy person that words can't describe it. And yes, again on the other end of the world. 

Last months have made me realize how grateful I am now for all this stubbornness, going against the grain, doing so in spite of many people and being meticulously sticking to the plan, no matter what. It made me realize how well I feel now, when everything I've gone through has exactly the effect I dreamed of, and even better. All I had to do was reach for what was mine and under no circumstances listen to people. 

I have already learned to appreciate myself and not accept what is below my level and now I am the living proof to myself that where's the will there's a way. And you?

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