Venice - New me

by Magdalene Anne - 4:14 PM

A few words from the time when I was based in Venice, from the time since when two years have passed, and in a few days another important date for me will be, so I decided it's a good occasion.

This is a story that I haven't talked about out loud so far, and only one person knew about it. In the end I decided to write about it, maybe it will help someone, inspire someone, someone will find something similar to their life in it. And those who met me in this city will probably remember something from those times, how they also changed.

When I found out that I was to live in Venice, I was surprised at first, then excited, then a bit scared, because I didn't know anyone there, and to be honest, the word "Italy" caused an inexplicable feeling of paralysis and even a mini heart attack that I don't understand to this day, but I in no way expected that going there would turn my life, both private and professional, upside down, cause a real revolution in my mind, throw me on an emotional rollercoaster that I have never felt, even in a turbulent relationship, during exams or during interviews for a dream job, that it would open my eyes, re-evaluate my priorities, cut me off from toxic relationships and generally speaking - build a new person.

Soon after moving, I began to feel that everything was spinning around me at the speed of light, things were going on that I hadn't planned for any treasures of the world in my perfect scenario (including an event that happily for only a short time, broke me and made me cry uncontrollably) that I started to lose my orientation and sense of stability, my blood is close to a boil and if I don't "hit" something myself, it will blow me away. And the best thing about it all was that something broke inside me, I stopped recognizing myself and I had no idea what was happening to me and why it actually was happening. In a few words, I felt like I was on a merry-go-round that I cannot stop, which is about to kick me into space.

And then a wise man I just met told me something that realized me a lot and led to drastic cuts and ending many things...

“You are smart, you are good, but you are also blind. Very blind. Wake up girl, open your eyes, read the signs, watch what happens. Look where you are. Look around. This is your chance, think about what you really want, what you need and most importantly end the thing in which you came here because it's not for you, it's a toxin, it wastes you and you are a wonderful person who can have it all, all what you want and you deserve all the best. Make your decision now and start being really happy."

It made me think a lot. At first, I denied it and tried to convince myself that everything in my life was just fine, and I didn't need anything else. But deep inside I really knew he was right. I felt it myself. I wasn't happy. On the contrary, all the signs in heaven and on earth pointed to what I was beginning to become more and more aware of. I was in a very bad point of my life. And it felt like I had just woken up from a very long lethargy.

I told myself "Enough. It's over..."

It was the moment of serious decisions and harsh moves, both personal and professional. The end of what made me unhappy has come, finally, after a long time, I dared to say "Goodbye", cut off the chains, start a new chapter in my life, and above all, I decided to give myself a chance, that I am now my priority, that I can be be happy, have what I deserve and become the person I have always dreamed of, forget about my insecurities and go for everything I want because I am capable of it. Because I want to be really and honestly happy, not poisoned. And that's what really happened.

I had no idea that this city, this climate and a series of events would change me as a person beyond recognition that they would change my life and my entire future, change my psyche and turn me into a warrior, and just a year later I will be a very successful person and by a half slimmer, who (to my very positive surprise) will not be recognized even by those who have just met me in Venice, and the man who spoke to me reasonably there, at the next meeting, more than a year later, will look at me with big, surprised eyes and sum up with the words:

MY GOD, WHERE IS MAGDA? THIS IS NOT YOU, I DON'T KNOW YOU! WOW!

Venice was the beginning of my new life, a new shade of me and a crazy ride to make my dreams come true. It was there that one day I cried with despair, the next I jumped with joy, and the other I was motivated like never before with the deadline to become the best possible version of myself and get what I had not believed in before.

In this city, I have completely changed my attitude, my point of view and if anyone thinks I was a walking positive energy back then, this one would be in a deep shock to meet me now, because now it's not energy, it's a tornado that doesn't hesitate for a second to reach desired goals.

In Venice, I thought a lot, eliminated toxic factors and... With big determination, I created three lists: To Do, To Create and To Get. From the day I created it, I stick to it and implement it consistently, point by point.

Two years have passed since then, and although not all of the "Do - Create - Get" goals that I have set have already been fulfilled, they are in the crosshair and surely, sooner or later, will become a reality. Because it's me and I don't give up and I get mine. Amen.