Country of fears & tears

by - 2:19 PM

I T A L Y 

Every place has the energy that vibes with us or not, and THIS country is... The country of hectoliters of my tears 🌬️

Tears, fears and the feeling like something is burning, killing me from inside, like someone put a huge piece of ice into my heart and stomach 🏔️❄️

EVERY single stay in Italy, no matter if living there or having layovers between flights lead to tears and unexplainable fear.

Tears I couldn't understand, I couldn't control and the worst - couldn't stop. It was just happening. Being there something was just breaking in me, I felt icy cold sadness, anxiety and bursts of crying 🌀

You know the scenarios of horror movies, when the main character entered some place and sudden cold fog and mysterious sound appeared around, to theatrically highlight the emotions felt by the actor, the anxiety so big that you could feel it through TV or cinema screen? Yes, this is something best describing the feelings catching me the moment I arrive to this country 🌫️

Remember the day from the time when I lived in Italy. The day when  I called someone very important to me and said "Take me away. Just take me away from this place, please" 🥀

Even trying to have a good time, I ended up with tissues wet from tears. At work? Doing something I love, trying to genuinely smile - I couldn't. Because something was draining me around there. And is draining every single time ⛈️

I lived in many countries in Europe and out of Europe, visited a whole lot of different ones, but to be honest ITALY is the country where I feel the worst ever and avoid coming there as much as possible 🌪️

Yes, Italy changed a lot in my life, this is something I can't deny, but there is something that I can't explain, but makes me feel like my heart and everything inside me is stabbed by ice 🌬️

Will it ever change? ☔

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